My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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