I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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