I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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