The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Randomize
