Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I met the friendliest cop last night
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
