Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
