I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
