her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
