oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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