the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
