My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
