We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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