spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Who died my cat blue again?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
