It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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