I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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