i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I think I just sharted jello shots
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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