So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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