god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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