Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
