I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
one might say we're banned from that church
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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