Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
