I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
