i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
