You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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