He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize