"it" just moved
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
