it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Randomize
