i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I am one with the molecules
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
