he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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