Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
