i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize