Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize
