Where is the hickey?
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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