he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Randomize
