I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
