Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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