My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
