Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
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