the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
