We're like a lot better than the average bears
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
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