I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
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