No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
