do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
