I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
