I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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