im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
