also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
