No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
organizing the empties. That sober.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
