So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
