My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
