We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
