i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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