I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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