You're so nebulous sometimes
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
high people should be assigned attendants
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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