i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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