dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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