How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
