i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
