you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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