how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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