At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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