I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
