You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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