I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
