HIV tests are more positive than that guy
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
